My yoga practice evolved simply by following. My current pilates teacher decided to embark on yoga teacher training, and then began to teach it. So, I just followed her into the practice of yoga. I was surprised at how much better I began to feel. Not just physically, but mentally as well. For a couple of years I practiced pretty regularly, and again, found myself being led. At that time, I had really wanted to run a marathon, but some hip pain led me to yoga teacher training.
Slowly, I began the real work of yoga; of uncovering all of who we think we are, and seeing all that we are currently. It was described to me as such: You are looking at the bottom of a lake that is very deep, only you cannot see the bottom because of the layers of sediment. You practice your yoga, and start removing these layers of sediment. This sediment weighs us down. This sediment is full of fears, doubts, anger, self-denial, hurt, injuries; generally, the pain that comes with living a life.
Yet, when I was in teacher training or even years after this, I did not know this. I simply wanted a way to keep myself fit, and I really enjoyed doing yoga. What I discovered in the process was this. Initially, I didn’t like myself. I didn’t want to even be by myself in savasana. I mostly worried about what other people thought of me, than who I was myself. I bought into the fears of the world, that said, “you need this cream to look 5 years younger”, or “what you do for a living dictates who you are”, or “what are your kids doing in life?”, or “I need to be thin to be pretty” and the list goes on and on.
My yoga practice tore down those limited beliefs that I had in myself. I realized that I’m ok, and I love to be by myself. That my body was full of light, and I could help people find their own light. That I don’t need anything of this world to be ok, I’m awesome right now, in this moment. My capacity to really love myself ran deep, for if I found this love for me, imagine how much more I can love others. Yes, yoga healed me physically, but saved my life, mentally. Hopefully, now as I look down at the bottom of my lake I can see the bottom. I can see who I really am, and how God intended me to be. AWESOME!
See you on the mat,