Creating boundaries

Something that I constantly work on is creating boundaries.  Call it my own personal values and ethics.  This has been very difficult, because I have found, that without boundaries, I have little self esteem.  When my kids were little, they were my life.  I read books, quit work, and basically did everything I could to give them happy, healthy lives.  What I didn’t know or realize, that they were watching me.  How well did I manage taking care of them, but also taking care of myself?  Taking care of myself, was secondary.  A trait that all of us sometimes fall into.  It was only realizing that I couldn’t do for them, if I didn’t take care of myself first.  For me, that was visiting the gym, on a regular basis.  From there, it gave me the power to step up my fitness level, reduce stress, and take control of my own life using yoga among other things.

Creating healthy boundaries, is really about loving yourself.  Without any love for self, you CANNOT fully love someone else.  The relationship is distorted.   For instance…..how well are you at creating boundaries at work?  Sometimes, the places that we work for, hold overtime over our heads….meaning, if we don’t complete that project on time, and under budget, they will find someone else to do it, and fire us.  Usually, a talk with our boss, helping them to understand our current challenges, will ease off deadline pressures.  We need to speak  our truth at all costs.

What about a boundary with your spouse?  Do you both give each other creative freedom to do the things you want to do?  Is someone always being taken advantage of, by doing all of the laundry, or all of the cleaning?  Without dividing tasks among you, it creates anger;  someone also feels taken advantage of because they HAVE to do the chore.  This becomes a wedge in families, and among spouses.    Are you the taxi driver for all kids activities?  Creating space and assigning tasks gives you the room to personally grow yourself.  It gives you time to work out, practice yoga, meditate, or do anything your heart desires.

We all have a song to play in our lives.  We all have desires and wishes, and want our dreams to come true.  Create boundaries in your life, and make time for your heart felt desires to come true.  Trust me, when you do this, everyone around you will thrive as well.  One thing is for sure, when you create boundaries, you will THRIVE!  “Get ready for your life to change, because it will!”

See you on the mat,

Paula

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